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Indian weddings

are anything but simple. It is not just the long months of preparations that lends to this statement, it’s the choc-a-bloc of rituals, traditions, and ceremonies that are intricately tied to that one day. In India, weddings are not about the couple as much as it is about the families, and especially the community that the couples represent.

In the deeply traditional South India, weddings are vibrant affairs that take up a good number of months on everybody’s social calendar. Indians place a lot of faith on auspicious months, days, time, and horoscope. So, steps to prepare for a wedding are taken only after much consultation on these factors. In a Hindu marriage, once the preliminary stages of meeting the girl and approving the match is done, parents of the bride and groom will consult an astrologer and an auspicious day will be chosen.

Known as Nitchyadhartam, the parents of the groom will come to the bride’s house with a plate full of bananas, coconuts and betel leaf. The girl is given a silk sari by the future in-laws to change into, and the boy is also gifted cash or clothes. This is also a great opportunity for members from both the families to meet and mingle. It is on this day that the wedding date is announced.

Over the next few months, every wedding detail is planned down to the minute when the thali (sacred marriage thread) will be tied. Both parties may decide to split the costs in half, or pay in full for either the wedding or the reception. Poojas (special prayers) are held by both sides to seek blessings on the couple.  The reception is held on the evening prior to the wedding.

One the day of the wedding, anywhere from 100-1000 guests will throng the mandapam (wedding hall). Each community has its own way of choosing the time of the wedding; it can be held anytime between twilight hours to mid-noon. The groom is clad in white silk shirt and dhoti (a wrap tied around the waist), and the bride will wear sarees in auspicious colours – red, green, blue, yellow-  as decided by the family astrologer or elders.

As part of the larger ceremony, the bride and the groom exchange their garlands thrice as a symbol of unification. Here too rituals rule the roost as the couple are offered milk and bananas, and the bride is given away (kanyadan) by her father to the groom.  Once these rituals are over, the couple is led to the mandapam where the groom ties the thali amidst a crescendo of drums, trumpets, showers of flower petals and rice. The marriage ritual is complete when the couple goes around the ceremonial fire, and the groom slips toe rings on the bride’s toes.

It is then time for a variety of games – finding a ring in a pot of coloured water, breaking rice wafers on each other’s heads etc – that helps break the ice and unwind after the stress of the wedding.

South Indian Christian

1. A typical Indian engagement occasion. Fruits, flowers, and coconut signify prosperity, joy and fertility. The groom's family will gift the bride a saree that is worn during the engagement

 2. Exchanging garlands are a big part of both the engagement ceremony and the wedding. In fact, each community has its own preferred flowers and style of garlands

 3. An exchange of rings

weddings are not that different when it comes to traditions and rituals. Where a western bride dreams of the perfect white wedding gown, a South Indian Christian bride goes hunting for the perfect shade of ivory in a wedding saree. Though Christian communities don’t rely heavily on astrologers, the effect of Hinduism can be seen in the adoption of the Nitchyadhartam, the thali and other such ideas.  

4. The concept of the thali or mangalsutra (sacred thread) is so firmly entrenched in India that it is a part of the Christian tradition also. Here the groom ties a gold chain around the bride's neck. The gown is a strong Western influence.

5. An exchange of rings that echoes the Western tradition.

Photos copywright and kindly supplied by Mrs Annie John

In contrast to a Hindu wedding which can be spread over more than a few days (like in a North Indian wedding), a Christian Tamil wedding is a one day affair. The wedding ceremony is often held at the local church during the day, and the reception is held at either the local community hall or at a hotel in the evening.  There is no exchange of rings but a thali (gold chain with pendant) is tied, and in Kerala, the thali is made from the threads taken from the bride’s saree. However, with western influences on the rise, many Christian brides have incorporated gowns and rings into their weddings.

Hindu Wedding

1. The wedding stage is occupied by the priests, father of the bride and the groom. The men are wearing very traditional clothes specific to their community

2. A ritual involving the parents of the bride. All wedding rituals take place around the sacred fire.

3. As part of the ceremony, the bride's father gives the bride bananas, coconut and flowers. During a Hindu wedding, a bride will change her saree as many as seven times

4.The bride is seated on her father's lap as the groom ties the thali.

5.The bride seeks the groom's blessings.

6. The bride is wearing a nine-yard saree in the traditional style. As part of the ceremony, the bride and groom feed rice to the fire

7. The wedded couple wear bright colours at their reception. The groom's Sherwani is in the North Indian style.

Photo's Copywrght: Mrs. Aruna Natarajan

 Like South India, other parts of the country are rich in their own traditions too. For example, in a Bengali wedding, the bride is carried in to the hall by her mother’s brothers. She keeps her face covered with betel leaves and unveils it on a cue from the astrologer. Here the bride has to strictly wear a bright red saree veined with silver embroidery and the groom keeps his face covered with a sehra (turban with a veil of flowers) until the appointed time.

Weddings and their rituals are as diverse as the religions of the people.

A Bengali Wedding

1. The bride covers her face with betel leaves as she is brought into the wedding hall to see the groom

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2.The bride shows her face amidst a lot of laughter and teasing

3.  The bride and groom's hands are covered with a cloth as the priest recites the sacred verses 

4. The bride leads the groom seven times around the sacred fire invoking blessings on food, strength, family, prosperity, progeny, long life etc

5. The bride and groom feed the sacred fire which is symbolic of feeding the fire god, Agni

6. The groom places sindur (red vermillion powder) that signifies her married status

7. Ladies from the groom's family slip toe rings on the bride's feet. According to ancient scriptures, toe rings were worn to enhance fertility.

8. The wedded couple indulge in a few games post-wedding. Here the groom and bride fight to find a ring in the pot of coloured water. It is believed that the one who finds the ring will dominate the household.

Photos copywritght and courtesy of Mrs Sreeja Sreenivasan Mathur

A Muslim wedding

or Nikaah, for instance, are extremely elaborate and can often span a week! It begins with the haldi (turmeric) ceremony where the bride wears yellow and has a pack of turmeric mixed with sandalwood applied on her by close family and friends. Then for the mehendi (henna) ceremony, the preferred colour is green.

The wedding ceremony is conducted by the imam/qaazi (priest), and only close friends and relatives witness it. The priest reads from the Koran, and then the Ijab-e-Qubul (proposal and acceptance) takes place. The groom’s side sends word of the proposal to the bride and her family, which has to be accepted. The legality of the marriage depends on the mutual consent of the parties involved. Then, the Nikaahnama – a legal document – is signed. This is also the time when the Mehar (bride price) is decided by the elders of the families and given by the groom’s family to the bride.

After the wedding comes the dinner, and men and women are usually seated separately. The newlyweds then get a chance to sit together, their heads covered with a scarf with the Koran place between them. They are allowed to look at each other only using mirrors.

Article written by Annie Besant on behalf of Global Kids Oz

Please note that pictures are subject to copyright 

*This is article is a very tiny glimpse into the vast ocean of Indian weddings. While it covers weddings in general, there are rituals and traditions unique to each community that are too numerous to be detailed.